Stream of Consciousness Philosophizing

I cannot say yesterday was a good day or a bad day.  It was a day.  A day much like 99% of the days that fill all our lives.  Nothing of any great import happened.  Those are the days where we get up, eat breakfast, shower, go to work, and attempt to find some happiness or at least contentment with the day’s happenings.  Then we come home and try to find some separation from and meaning from all that did or more likely did not happen during the day.  Some numb themselves with more work, others with alcohol/drugs, others with mindless or high minded television, still others with the banality of family life.  Then the day finally ends and it is off to sleep and to the hopes and dreams that tomorrow will be better or at least interesting.  Then that day finally comes when something interesting does happen.  However, it is not what you thought it would be.  You get mugged, your wife has a car wreck, your son tells you about the man who tried to touch him, or a group of terrorists crash planes into skyscrapers.  You discover it is not interesting things that you want to happen.  You want something to give your life a point.  Not a meaning, just a point.  You search for what the point of you existence is in everything you do: work life, home life, family, television, stimulants.  However, you never look in the one place where you can actually find the point to your life:  Within yourself.  Some are scared to look there.  Others have never been told to look there.  But there is the only place it truly lays.  Waiting.  Dormant. 

I am amazed at the links people will go to in order to no think about the point of their existence.  The number of people who have no self-awareness and only peer outward hoping that someone or something will tell them who they truly are and what their purpose here on Earth is amazes me.  Sometimes, I do envy them though.  Sometimes I wish I did not look inside some much.  But, then I think which is worse.  A life of constant searching for, I won’t call it truth, but for something that makes this time above ground worth it or a life of intentional obtuseness up until that final moment.  The search is so fun.  The search is interesting and illuminating.  The search makes everything that you experience more interesting and more important.  The search teaches you to be present and to be mindful of where you and what you are doing.  The search will probably not make you money or famous.  The search will make you content and happy because you will know why you are here and you will work towards that every day.  It will not seem like work because it is a part of who you are and will be as comfortable as breathing.  That is the true state of grace for which we all search.

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