How The Lawnmower Got In A Ditch

It started simple enough.  I was trying to get to the grocery store before the rain got really bad.  The only way I could get to it was with the riding lawnmower I got.  Too many reckless driving citations along with too many DUIs.  I am resourceful though.

I only had about football field left to go when the drizzle started.  What’s a little drizzle at this point, you know.  So, I pushed on.

Now, the bit of this yard I was driving over is where the road and the yard both fall off to a run off area.  You either have a yard like this or you’ve seen them when you drive by.  The road has a crown in the middle and slopes towards either side so rain water doesn’t stand on it and the yards that line it slope down from the houses towards the road.  That leads to a small low area that collects the water from both sides.

With all the rain this year, all the low areas done collected a lot of water.  I knew this when I started.  I was riding right beside the road and that ain’t the safest thing.  The idiots that drive by aren’t the most attentive drivers in the world.  Trust me I know.

I’m looking out for the cars coming by and rushing to get there before the rain gets worse.  This last low area at the front of this last yard gets pretty steep at the far right side just before a stand of trees between this house and the next one.  It is also the part that actually has about six inches of standing water.

I was going to ride across this ditch straddling it with my wheels on both slopes.  Even with a riding mower with the ground clearance of a hedgehog I figured I could do it and not suck up much water and not mess up the mower.

I heard the tire treads coming up behind me over the mower’s engine and blades.  I glanced over my shoulder and saw a F350 tearing towards me at about 60 mph.  I took my eyes off what I was doing for second and I turned the wheel a little ways away from the road out some involuntary act of safety.  That slight movement dropped me right in the ditch and into the water.

Apparently, it doesn’t take much for these things to get stuck.  It wasn’t that the water got into the engine or anything it was that the wheels couldn’t get any traction in the mud.  I tried to rock it back and forth between forward and reverse and that just made it worse.  I tried to pull it backwards by hand, but that ended in the predictable me falling backwards into the wet grass.

By that time the rain was picking up and I had no way to pull the thing out.  After about 6 hours of steady rain I think I’m going to need a new mower.  The water is actually up to the mower blades now.  I talked to a friend that fixes engines and he said the engine could be all right if you can get it out and let it dry for a couple of days before working on it, but I would have to do it soon. The homeowner was probably at work when it happened and with the rain I hadn’t been back by since.  I hope it’s still there.  I still need to get to the grocery store.


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