I Can’t Tell If This is Therapy or Some Inspirational Coaching Stuff

If you don’t like your job, quit.  It is that simple.  There will always be another bill or another obligation.  There will never be the perfect time to quit.  You just have to do it.  It isn’t going to be easy.  You aren’t just going to find the perfect thing for yourself to do.  It will be hard work.  Probably harder than the stuff you were doing in your old job, but know that once you get through the initial shock and strain of finding something else, when you find that thing you want to do, instead of have to do, it won’t seem like work as much as a kind of calling.

I think one of the first-world goals is to find a job that you can stand to do, that you derive at least a little pleasure from doing, and provides you with at least a few moments of exercising all the parts of your intellect.  If you don’t have that, quit.

At some point in the very near future, I will take my own advice.  That time may be coming sooner then I think it is.  I have been asking myself a lot of variations of “What do you want to do?”  I’ve taken the first step.  I do know that whenever I am at work the answer is always, “Not this.”  Now, I just have to find the affirmative answer.

Actually, I think I know what I want to do.  The question in my mind is how to get there.  I may be indulging in one of my main problems, over analysis.  Maybe I need to apply E.L. Doctorow’s advice on novel writing and apply it to my life.  “It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”

I sometimes get so focused on the end product and all that I will gain once I get there, and all the derivations and all the potentialities that I forget to actually start the journey.  Usually, when I am going on a driving trip somewhere especially for the first time, I figure out the perfect route.  The route with the least amount of traffic and that takes the shortest amount of time.  Smart phones are great for this.

The thing is, between the time I leave and the time I get to my destination, that destination hasn’t moved.  It hasn’t shifted or changed or transformed or any other word that means the same as those words.  It is a static thing.  Your goals in life are different.  They change as you change.  As you grow older, experience disappointment, experience success, experience great joy, these goals can and often do change.

That means your route and your destination are linked.  If you turn here instead of going straight, you decide another destination may be a better fit for you.  If something happens to make you change your route, you see a different aspect of yourself that informs you and what you want to do.

This seems to be a lot like the experience of the first novel I recently finished the first draft of.  I started with one ending in mind, but as I wrote, life happened to my characters and the end (and the route to get there) I had originally concocted shifted slightly to match where they needed to go.

When I decided a few months ago to dedicate more of myself to writing and to writing in this space consistently, one of the things I decided was to always be truthful here.  To write the truest thing in my mind at that moment.  That is where the opening of this post comes from.  It doesn’t mean that I am going to call in on Monday and just stop going to work.  It does mean, however, things will be changing and probably sooner rather than later.

Another thing, don’t think that this is me in some kind of depressed state.  I am, for me, pretty happy right now.  The reason is that asking these questions of myself and writing about them makes me focus on finding the answers, and finding those answers is the most exciting part.

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