Day 12: The Wall and The Drug

Yesterday was good day in front of the keyboard.  It could have been better.  I had to stop and go to work in the middle of couple of good thoughts.  That isn’t the bad part.  That comes from trying to serve two masters at the same time.  It is not impossible, but it is exhausting.  This must be what hitting a mental wall feels like.

Coming home after work is an almost impossible time to write.  My body is too tired and the day is too short to really get any worthwhile work done.   Lunch is the best option, but it is one hour and just as you are getting into a rhythm it is time to quit.

I will keep trying to write at lunch mostly working on ideas and not actual execution.  This will have to do until the situation resolves itself.

The thing I didn’t expect out of this is the thing that has affected me most.  I knew this would be an experience that would show me if I could write a book.  The answer to that is yes.  It may not be a good book, but I’ve proven to myself that I can sit and concentrate long enough to finish writing an actual book for people to read.  What I didn’t expect was how this experience would change how I view everything.

The idea that I was a writer was a dreamy notion I clung to for a very long time.  That idea has been given form in a novel that I am half way done writing a first draft for and enjoying the hell out of the experience.  With this corporeal thing sitting right here, that moves the idea from notion to somewhat reality.  I feel like I’ve walked through a door I cannot and do not want to go back through.  That means something(s) cannot stay the same when this month is over.

Circumstances and perhaps places will have to change soon.  This writing thing is like a drug.  I need to keep doing it for my own health and happiness.  It feels too good.


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