Where Were All The Adults? A Rambling, Confused Blog Post.

What interested me about the Steubenville rape case?

First, there are no winners here.  A young woman was raped and put on display like a piece of meat.  Two young men who should have known better will have to try to put their lives back together after destroying the futures they had.  There friends will have to live with their inaction in this case and the thoughts about all the other nights when they partied the same way.  A town will have to look at itself and decide what is important now.  This was town already economically broken, that now must live with this stain.

I don’t see how anyone can feel good about any of this.  Yes, the rapists were brought to justice and will go to juvenile detention.  The problem is they didn’t understand what they were doing was wrong at the time they were doing it.  Somehow the culture they were raised in didn’t teach them to treat people with decency and respect, much less teach them what rape is.

My main question is where were the adults?  Where were the parents?  Where were the coaches and teachers?  These parties (apparently they are frequent) weren’t happening out in far-flung fields around bonfires. They were happening in people’s homes.  Places where ostensibly the parents should have known some of what was going on in their basements.  Someone was also selling or buying these kids alcohol.  They weren’t making it themselves.

There is so much about this I don’t understand.  This is literally like a Lifetime movie.  The thing that angers and disappoints me most is that no one stopped it from happening.  During the trial the witnesses almost all testified that 1) they didn’t think it was rape since it wasn’t violent and 2) they didn’t stop it because they know that they should.

I also keep coming back to where were the adults?  How did they get the alcohol and why did parents let them have these parties?  Adults are responsible for teaching children proper behavior and decency and keeping children safe.  The adults involved in this did neither.

As a society, we are puritanical when it comes to sex and alcohol/drugs and we are obsessed with sex and alcohol/drugs.  We either don’t talk about these things are we talk about them in some half-assed don’t do them they are wrong way which touches on neither the consequences of these actions or give any type of respect to their power.

I’m all over the place with this today.  I can’t think straight or make any logical sense.  I’m going to have to process this in some other form to make it make sense to me.  I’m too angry and confused about how we have allowed this to happen to write about it at the moment.

If you want to read something really good about what we should have learned, go read Christian Piatt (@christianpiatt) in The Huffington Post yesterday.  He asks all the relevant questions we are all asking.

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